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Exclusivity | Print |  E-mail

If we believe that “all white” was illegal and morally wrong – is “exclusively black” equally self-indulgent?  Are we repeating the same mistakes by having “black only” magazines and colleges in the 21th Century?

According to the US Census Bureau (2008), blacks represent ~12.8% of the population.  Given this fact, it is not likely or probable that we – the people of color – are likely to dominate or flood every market or community.  However, it is undeniable that our presence has a significant impact when we allow the beauty of the presence of God within us to shine.

I was somewhat appauled by some of the responses to Essence Magazine decision to hire a non African American as its new fashion director.  We, of all people, should know the repercussions of being denied jobs, housing, financing opportunities and a host of other possessions simply because our skin clearly denotes we have been blessed by the sun.

Whether it is fashion, food, or fun, African Americans have a niche for redefining and branding our unique style.  There’s nothing in the world that could compare to the way we do “hair” or how we wear the threads.  For decades, fashion designers, fashion buyers, automobile designers and home builders have been dominated by non African Americans.  This has never stopped nor hindered us in any fashion – we simply made it our own.  There’s nothing wrong with being unique, every race has its own unique customs and traditions.  To embrace, appreciate and respect them all - moves us closer to world peace.

Sidebar: Did we not embrace Farrah Fawcett’s feathered hair style; we were cutting, bouncing and flowing with Farrah.

Whether it is Baby Phat or Apple Bottom, I see youth of every creed and color embracing the brands and style.  If other races are open to embrace our brands, designers and creations – should we not rejoice?  This is progress and not the time for exclusivity.

Therefore, to be “exclusively black” can be a detriment to our race and society as a whole.  We, the people of color, must learn to maintain our integrity and embrace change.  We cannot continue to allow the mistreatment and anger of our past to determine the outcome or future endeavors.  We must hold fast to the Golden Rule – treat others like we want to be treated.  Therefore, I commend Essence Magazine for standing by its decision to hire the person they believed could honor the mission and brand.  This is truly a display of holding to the dream that we are judged based upon the content of our character and not the hue of our skin.

If we truly believe in our uniqueness, talent, creativity - why would we deny sharing these precious gifts to the rest of the world?

In closing, allow love to rule in your heart and govern every decision.

I’m also reminded of why I love Vertikal Magazine, simple because it is okay to celebrate our culture but we also realize that diversity is the key to building a stronger community.

C. Renee Phillips
 
In Search Of | Print |  E-mail

 

Top 10 Dating Mistakes

1. Game playing:
This strategy is usually employed for one of two reasons. The first is to protect one's ego. When it comes to dating, everyone, on some level, fears rejection. Playing it cool and not getting too involved may make you feel safe, but you risk coming across as aloof or remote, and may turn the other person off. Balance between demonstrating interest and maintaining your composure is best. Another reason people play games is to get something you want that you wouldn't likely get if you played it straight. For example, telling someone you love him or her so they will sleep with you, and then not calling them again. This form of manipulation is simply unacceptable (to put it mildly), and does not lead to healthy relationships. You will get further in less time in finding a relationship if you allow yourself to be genuine. It's OK to put your best foot forward, and also to be a bit cautious, but have the courage to be upfront and show who you are.

2. Talking too much about your ex:
While this information will eventually be shared at least to some extent, it shouldn't be discussed in detail during the initial phase of a relationship. You want to get to know the person and each have a chance for a fresh start. Carrying old baggage into a new relationship amounts to clutter. If you have baggage, then best to work it out in individual therapy before pursuing a new relationship, at least to a point where it isn't affecting your reactions and clouding your judgment.

3. Fantasizing about the future:
While men are typically (not always) the masters of game playing, women have this one down pat. When you catch yourself trying on his last name before the third date, it's time to remind yourself to slow down. In the first 3-6 months of a relationship, you are likely running on oxytocin, which is a chemical found in chocolate. It creates the sense of well-being and euphoria that comes with “falling in love.” This might as well be dubbed the period of temporary insanity, because you are not in command of all your faculties; your brain is hijacked by those lovely chemicals, interfering with your ability to think clearly. Until you have time to really get to know someone, and see him or her in a wide range of situations, it is helpful to not get ahead of yourself; don't strongly attach to some illusion that you have created about the person. This can lead to pitfalls of setting up unrealistic expectations and subsequent disillusionment, or depression if the relationship doesn't work out.

4. Obsessing over details:
This one is common with those who worry. The worry may be a general habit, but now it is turned on the subject of the relationship: worry about what the other person said, worry about what they meant by it, worry about how you reacted, worry about the relationship not working out, worry about what if it does work out, how will your parents react…on and on. Being anxious is a mood killer, and will not make you attractive to a potential mate. But don't go worrying about that! Try to tap into your self-confidence and trust that if the relationship is meant to work out, it will.

5. Ignoring red flags:
If someone doesn't show up when you’re supposed to meet, that's a red flag. If they don’t let you call them at home, yep, red flag. If they kick their dog, bingo, red flag. Of course, there are more subtle warnings that one may be tempted to overlook, especially if one is eager for the relationship to work out. While one shouldn't jump to conclusions without sufficient evidence on the first problem that arises, an emerging pattern is not something to make excuses for or brush under the rug. Address these problems early, and don't waste your time.

6. Interrogating your date:
“How many children do you want” is not a good opening sentence. You want to show interest by asking about their likes or dislikes, but not press someone for information. Let things evolve a bit, as you get to know someone. Patience and restraint are required here, even though you may feel pressed for time. Do your best to relax and have fun.

7. Avoidance of intimacy:
While this one is traditionally men's domain, women are quickly catching up in the fear of commitment zone. Modern society imposes so many requirements and expectations on what makes for a “good catch,” and that makes it hard to sort through whether someone would be a good choice for us. We don't want to “settle,” and the quest for the perfect mate can cause us to overlook or undervalue a truly good partner. Alternatively, we might be so fearful of getting hurt, betrayed or rejected, that we exit stage left just as the play gets going. If fear of commitment is an obstacle, better to work out your patterns (or schemas) in therapy than in your relationships.

8. Rush in, rush out:
Are you reckless in love? Do you plunge into the deep end, only to find that the water is way too cold? Then this one's for you. Getting overly involved too soon is a big red flag. If you do it, then you need to pace yourself, and be more considerate of the other person, who you are probably leading on. If you fall for those who do it, then you need to slow things down and not get taken for a ride (or pursue a different type!).

9. Not being honest about your needs:
Pretending everything is OK can work for only so long. Assertiveness is a golden skill for those who are ready for a mature relationship. Unless you can ascertain and directly communicate your needs (by being clear and specific), then you are basically operating on a child level. While many people get by this way, it is not very effective, and puts you at a disadvantage when you are trying to get your needs met. Assertiveness is not to be confused with being bossy or demanding. Being tactful and direct is the quickest path to relationship success.

10. Sacrificing too much to get the relationship:
If you find that you are doing things you would not otherwise do to get someone's attention, like bending over backwards and injuring your spine in the process, then you are entering the land of the doormats. Often people tend to do this if there is a problem with low self-esteem. Valuing yourself enough to put your needs on the table as well as the other person's is key in establishing balance and harmony. A healthy relationship is one between two equals, both giving and receiving in reciprocal fashion.
 
Love without DNA | Print |  E-mail

 

We all have friends. A lot gets talked about friendships. Everyone wants a true friend, and many of us believe that we have a friend who can be called a true friend. What kind of relations do friends share? When can we call a friend a true friend, and when can our friends take us as their true friend. After a romantic relationship, friendships are the most important relationships we can have. Though all of us have family and distant family, most of us rely on friends for advice, comfort and inspiration. How do we define a relation that can be called as one of true friendship?

The very first sign of a very good friend, not necessarily a true friend is that we are not worried about courtesies. You will call your friend at any hour and talk without any thought of time in your mind. Similarly, whenever you need support, you will call a very good friend and ask him/her to help you out. They expect the same from you. Another important trait of such relations is that we are not much worried about exposing ourselves. We speak about everything in our mind without worrying about what our friends will think. We are sure that they will take our talk in the spirit it was made. We are unguarded and open with friends in our talk.

A true friend is a little more than a very good friend. A true friend will support you even if it hurts his/her own interest. A true friend will understand your motives and needs and will be with you without any analysis or criticism. A true friend will come forward to help without any request and be with us in need without showing it or expecting anything in return. With a true friend, you can be sure that you will get help to the extent possible by him/her. Nothing will remain unturned. A mother is a true friend of her children. If we share such relations with an adult we can say that we are true friends.

A true friend makes no excuses of having work or appointments or anything but will be with you whenever you need him/her. In your hour of desperation, a true friend will support you even if the whole world opposes you. A true friend is not an opportunist. A true friend means to have someone who is like mother, as I said earlier. Instead of having hundreds of good friends, if you have a true friend, treat yourself lucky. If you can also become a true friend of someone, you will be blessed, because it is much easier for all of us to expect but very difficult to give. Be a true friend yourself first.

Submitted By Norman A. Anderson
 
Rules | Print |  E-mail

Rules

ProfilePics10Rules. We need them even if we don’t like them. I’m glad we have rules, but just what is a rule anyway?  Being a father of two teenage daughters, I see rules as a way of keeping my daughters attuned to me and my wife’s . . . well . . . rules.

There is an endless array of meanings for the word rule. A rule can be a set of do’s and don’ts that parents set as boundaries for their kids. A rule can be a court order, or a decision by a court. There are military rules such as the Uniform Code of Military Justice. There is Robert’s Rules of Order, a book that organizations use as a code of conduct. In science, we have the slide rule, an object for measuring calculations. We have the retractable tape measure ruler and then we have the good old straight edge ruler. The straight edge ruler is really good for whipping children either on the hand or somewhere else. I know because I got a whipping with a ruler a lot while I was growing up.

However, I try not to whip my children. I didn’t say I haven’t whipped my kids; I said I try not to whip my kids. I try to love them even if it means giving them tough love. But sometimes children don’t know what love is. They think you’re overstepping your parental boundaries and invading their space.

For example, there are approximately 50,000 students enrolled in the Wichita, Kansas school district. As part of their curriculum, some of the middle school students participate in a program called After School Recreation, or After School Rec. for short. This is a great program that allows middle school kids to have fun. For example, one of the places these middle school students get to go to is the Young Men’s Christian Association (YMCA) in order to swim. It was after an intense argument with one of these students, our youngest daughter, that my wife and I almost changed the Wichita school district student count to 49, 999 students.

However, after regaining our composure, we asked our youngest daughter, “Why would you pick out a pair of booty shorts to swim in?” Booty shorts are sometimes called boy shorts. Boy shorts are popular among women. They tend to cover up most of the buttocks area, but not always. Hers were not even boy shorts. They were a pair of her old shorts that were just too small for her to wear.

Like some kids, our youngest daughter is experiencing a stage in her life where she feels like she needs to go to school to make a fashion statement. But my wife told her that it ain’t no sense in going to school dressed like $300 to get a $2 education.

As parents, we’re obligated to teach our daughters common sense as well as provide for and protect them until they’re big enough to be on their own. In fact, we’re responsible for raising both our daughters in a nurturing and responsible manner.

So, naturally, we told our daughter that she couldn’t wear those shorts to swim in. As a matter of fact, she couldn’t wear them period. “Not on my watch,” I thought. As parents, my wife and I are our children’s protectors. We know what’s best for them.

by Albert Swepson
 
taking Steps to End Hunger | Print |  E-mail

Taking Steps to End Hunger

 

On Sunday, March 14, thousands of people will gather at Turner Field for the annual 5k Hunger Walk/Run.  Since 1984, the Hunger Walk has created awareness of, and raised money for, organizations that are fighting global and local hunger.  This year, funds raised from the event will benefit the Atlanta Community Food Bank, Episcopal Charities Foundation, Jewish Federation of Greater Atlanta, Lutheran Services of Georgia, Presbyterian Answer to Hunger, and St. Vincent de Paul Society.

Why the Hunger Walk?

  • Due to the current economic climate, Georgia’s unemployment rate increased from 6.2% in July 2007 to nearly 10.4% in January 2010.
  • According to the USDA, close to 13% of Georgia households are food insecure, meaning they do not have consistent access to enough food to cover their basic nutritional needs.
  • Globally, the United Nations estimates more than 1 billion people will experience hunger this year.

 

There is still time to participate.  Simply visit the Hunger Walk’s website to register your team, join an existing team, or make a tax-deductible donation.

 For more information about the hunger walk, visit: http://www.hungerwalkrun.org.

If you would like to support the author’s team, visit: http://acfb.convio.net/goto/johannabrown.

 

By Johanna Brown

Johanna is an Atlanta-based freelance writer and owner of Copy Write Consulting, LLC, a copywriting and marketing communications firm.

 
Representing + | Print |  E-mail

 

Yolanda Zellous....

Yolanda Zellous is an author, playwright, casting director, stage actress, singer and dancer. She has established herself as a director and playwright. Through her roles as the church lady on the award winning filmmaker/director Tyler Perry “Diary of a Mad Black Woman, Madea’s Family Reunion and the Gospel, Zellous has catapulted in many genres in the competitive theatrical world.

Zellous has evolved as an intelligent, independent and inventive woman in performing arts that has staying power to learn, grow, to be consistent and explore endless possibilities in performing arts. Zellous began her career in singing and acting at the age of 5 in church. Although, a shy girl, later she unraveled her gift to shine. While growing up, she starred in the annual school Christmas plays “SCROOGE” learning the arts of live stage. Zellous had a chance to play a role in a classroom scene” The Double Dutch Bus”, an improvisation role that launched her to canvas opportunities and leap forward.

In her senior year of high school, Zellous auditioned and sang the National Black Anthem. Always having to share a duet, she was excited to perform solo as she describes as her greatest moment. Finally, discovering her passion, she studied acting and trained under the accomplished Bill Dukes at The American Black Film Festival, Tracey Moore, Celebrity Acting Coach, Nick Conti and Michael Moore, The Professional Actors Studio and The Robert Townsend Studios (P.A.N.).

Zellous starred in Under the Hood, In the Hood, Love Cost, Will You Pay the Price, and Church Folks.  Preferring to concentrate on live theatre and production Zellous continued to act in live plays and hone her skills in writing and producing live stage and film. She became an associate producer of A-Town East, a local soap opera on Comcast Cable.

Her years of critiquing her talent, artistry and incentives to work faithfully inspired her to create Zellyo Production, Inc,. A film and production company that provides real day to day issues and the lives of people with issues and happenings. A mission that was created by Zellous to motivate and empower plus size women and children to fulfill their dreams.

As an acting coach, Zellous helps talented fellow actors by teaching, developing and presenting actors workshops throughout the year in Atlanta, Georgia. She is the executive producer of “The Big Boned Fashion Show with a documentary Big Boned Women, a film created and directed by Zellous. She credits her stage and learning more about her inner creative style to playwright, Zakiya H. Williams, actress, playwright and casting director. “She is the one that helped me to take a leap of faith and tap into my comedic side, Zellous says.” After all, I am from Peoria, Illinois, home of the late comedian and actor Richard Pryor.

I have developed characters that I carry with me at all times and they a part of my performances. “My strength enables me to deliver the best performances to my audience. Zellous echoes.” Zellous has been an accomplished artist on stage and someday her dream is to have a starring role in a major film. Culminating her comedy and dramatic style that overtures a blending combination of natural energy, Zellous continues to write, produce, act and direct films.

Credits:  Playwright

              Casting Director

              Actress

              Film Director

              Motivational Speaker

              Advocate for Children and Women

              Author

              Plus Size Advocate

              Advocate for Youth 

 

 ------------------------------------------upcoming book

 

The Spirit of Big Boned Women  by Yolanda Zellous

Big Girls you are not all alone in this world

There are other women out there just like you

There is a special spirit that belongs only to Big-Boned Women.

You know this special spirit because you have this spirit.

 

The Spirit of Big-Boned Women

Get your copy today.

  

This is not another diet program

This is not another “weight loss” plan

This is not another way to “lose it” fast and “lose it” forever.

 

The Spirit of Big-Boned Women is a collage of women’s stories. The voices of big-boned (plus sized) women from all different backgrounds have been woven together in a beautiful tapestry to inspire all women. Women come in all shapes, sizes and styles and all of us have a story to tell.

There is no barrier to beauty, but before you can see someone else’s beauty, you have to embrace yourself as beautiful.

The Spirit of Big-Boned Women is more than just a book.

The Spirit of Big-Boned Women is a look in the mirror.

It’s time to see “yourself”.

You will see yourself or someone you know in one of the over fifty stories in this book.

Our mission is about much more than promoting Big Boned Women. The Spirit of Big-Boned Women will promote and uplift the beauty of women from the depths of their spirits. This book will empower you and uplift you as a woman.

Who Should Read The Spirit of Big-Boned Women?

• Big-Boned (Plus Sized) Women

• Anyone who knows and loves Big-Boned Women

• Anyone who does not understand Big-Boned Women

• Anyone who has ever been afraid to look in the mirror at themselves

 

The Spirit of Big-Boned Women will change the way you see yourself. When you hear the words of other women telling their stories and say, “That’s me”, you will know you are not alone. Big-Boned Women deserve to be seen as well as heard!

Yolanda started acting  for a few yrs when she attended the ABFF American Black Film Festival in Miami. She met Acting coach Bill Dukes at an actor’s bootcamp. He said something that she will never forget. “Everyone in this room can do their own films”. It took just a few months after hearing this and she got an idea. Start my own production company and do my own documentary film “Big Boned Women”.

Zellyo Productions Inc. The name of the company is my first and last name put together. My company was formed in 2005 for my documentary filmed that I produced.

I produced a documentary film about women who are considered “Big Boned, Plus-size or full size. This documentary allows the women to have a platform to express who they truly are. The Big Boned Full Feature Documentary showcases interviews and discussions about full figured or what I call real size women from various walks of life and ages.  The documentary consist of an array of heart felt topics based on their personal past experiences being full figured women.

I enjoy all types of acting. I love theater and film. I love to sing R & B and Gospel music.

God is always my motivation. I give him all the glory. My husband and my kids are also

I hope to achieve an Academy award for either my talents or one of my films.

As for idols. I don’t have idol but, my great influences would be my parents. They are my  Shero and Hero. My mother first all. She told me in my teens to go out and do all the things she couldn’t do. She said travel and keep my dreams. So I am doing that now. My Dad is my hero also because he is the

To become a mentor and motivator in my industry is important to me. My mission is about much more than promoting Big Boned Women. The Spirit of Big-Boned Women will promote and uplift the beauty of women from the depths of their spirits.

I work with various non-profits during my fashion shows to help raise money.

I like to run races 5k-10k for different cause i.e. March of Dimes, American Heart Assoc etc. I think I have walked and race just about every race in Atlanta including the Peachtree Rd. race for the past 10 yrs or so.

I also volunteer as mentor for youths and I speak at varies events for children and teens.

Those who are wanting to get into the acting industry etc.

I would like to leave a legacy for my children. I would love to own a state of the arts production house. My goal is to motivate and inspire others for follow their dreams no matter whom you are, what size you are, age, color that you are.

I would like to start a non profit company within the next year. The company will help children and plus size women to become triple threats.

 

Zellyoproductions.com newsite coming April 2010
http://www.bigbonedwomen.blogspot.com and on facebook under Yolanda Zellous office 770 895-4345 email This e-mail address is being protected from spambots, you need JavaScript enabled to view it

 

Submitted by Norman A. Anderson
 
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